born into grief and giving

I was born under a frost moon

a week into the new year, after samhuain

the veil thin, the days collapsing in their early dark

the world going quiet

as the cailleach embraced the boreal

photo of wisemamawolf by Jenny Holden | @infinitebody

I was born into four families

four lineages came to land and live on my flesh

my map travels four directions

my love knows all seasons

I know what it is to be of blood and bone

and beyond it

I was born into grief and giving

the deepest energy

of generosity and heartache

is in my being

teachings on ancestor recovery and relationship speak often of our relations - the kin of our blood and bone

but I feel that this vocabulary, surely unintentionally, excludes those of us who are adopted, or grew up in the foster system. raised away from those we share DNA with for one reason or another.

I have been learning to write myself into these teachings as a person of adoption

I come from a lineage of adoption, my birth father being adopted from the system at the age of two. He was raised in a Ukrainian family, and so, I have always considered part of my lineage to be Ukrainian.

It was only recently I learned, after doing a DNA kit, that him and I do in fact have Eastern European/Russian origins.

This year at Samhuain I made bread for the Ukrainian deity Baba Yaga, who, much like the Cailleach, has a bad wrap under the reign of patriarchy, but that’s a post for another day..

I made bread for my birth father, I made bread for his birth father, for our adopted family, for those we know and those we feel.

This is just the beginning of exploring a complex web of being. It is a slow and sweet, frustrating and sad, full and dark as the moons.

all in all, I write this today to say

to those of you who are adopted or were not raised by those who share your DNA

I see you and I love you

and so do your ancestors, of blood, bone and beyond

WISE MAMA WOLFNovember 23, 2022ancestors, adoption, grief, generosity